I am looking back on 27 years with Babaji. His picture struck me like lightening. I had found it in the library of a Buddhist center during the lunch break of a seminar. Some weeks later I had my first chandan in Schweibenalp from Sundar: I was standing in line expecting what I considered to be just yellow stripes; this whole centre and ceremony seemed just folklore to me. I liked to be part of it, but didn‘t have any idea of it‘s deeper meaning. While standing in line, somebody talked to me and explained that you could ask Babaji to take something away from you, something that troubles you, something that you don‘t need anymore in your life. Oh that‘s an interesting thing I thought, I can try that out. So suddenly waiting in line became a contemplation about what I would want to get rid of, now having an unexpected chance to do this. It came to my mind that I was often in trouble because I did things differently to others. However this was never my intention but it seemed to be because of something twisted in me. That lead me to a certain focus on doing things right, in the sense of how I was expected to do things, and so it led me straight to the life of a rebel. That again caused a lot of fighting which prevented the loving energy from flowing. I had done a lot of analysis on this already: it was a diagnosed obstacle, a feeling of “being wrong” in general that was corrupting my system like a virus.
So by now I was standing in front of Sundar and going down on my knees and presenting my forehead to receive, what I considered to be, my stripes. “The other way round!” I heard Sundar say. I realised that I had put my head down “the wrong way”. It was like a clap on my brain. I was bursting out in laughter while I turned my head on the other side. Chandan was cooooool and smelled so good. Then this red point …KumKum and the rice. I received all blessings with that truth, that it is really no big deal to be different. But if you don‘t know better you listen to others and cooperate. Be yourself and be kind to those who make mistakes. Even to yourself. Go beyond wrong and right. So simple. So true. So full of love. Nobody behind me in the line reacted as if something special had happened. People seemed to be familiar with what they called “Babaji Lilas”. When I got up I looked differently at the world. I started to see what it means to teach without words. What happend inside me could not possibly be put into words. My cells KNEW. It was like an antibiotic, the size of the sun, releasing that virus.
Of course it did not vanish from my life from one moment to the other.
But I learned to transform situations and fights Babaji created for me over the years, and I found out that “doing things wrong” actually can lead to the most amazing experiences with people, if I am able to let go of judgement. In fact it has become a daily practice. I never met Babaji in his body but I am ever so grateful that he blesses me with the presence-present of his spirit, and he smiles at me even in my darkest moments. If I can be the last of the pupils…I am still in the class. But it is not about wrong or right. It is not about good or bad either. It‘s just about being in his presence… it is there, where we receive the presents… 🙂